Ladies these are dating rules lyrics

It could have been that I wasn’t taking anything seriously, and my responses were mostly quips and void of “haha” and emojis. I had downloaded Bumble because I just moved back to Detroit and needed friends.

Is there a note on my forehead that reads, “If, then”?

—Submitted by Kristi Cecil, Facebook Misheard lyric: "The Uncle Cracker song — I always thought it was 'give me the Beach Boys, and free my soul.'"Actual lyric: Give me the beat boys and free my soul.

—Submitted by Rachel Epstein, Facebook Misheard lyric: "When I was a kid I heard Kenny Rogers [as saying], 'You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with 400 children and a crop in the field.'" Actual lyric: You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille / With four hungry children.

What was once a black and white process has somehow seeped into the gray-- where guys and girls text or message back and forth on social media for weeks on end before the guy finally gets up the courage to text the girl he likes to ask her if she will go out with him.

’s a great song in the musical “[title of show]” that asserts, “I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing / Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing.” For two decades, that’s been Maria Bamford’s brand.

She’s played small roles on sitcoms; she was the spokeswoman for Target. In her You Tube series “The Maria Bamford Show,” which was set in Duluth, Minnesota, where she’d retreated after a breakdown, Bamford played not only herself but various family members, frenemies, and dates—while crooning to her psychiatrist, “If I keep the ice-cube trays filled, then no one will dieeeeeeeee.” In her self-distributed show, “Special Special Special,” she performed in her living room, with only her parents as an audience.

(That's assuming he actually asks her out or even uses the word “date" in a sentence). I distinctly remember how angry my mom would get when flirty junior high girls called to talk to my cute 7th grade brother.

It's apparently much easier to see if she wants to “hang out," which leaves so much room for interpretation, and inevitably lead to an exasperated girl finally asking the guy, “So are we just 'hanging out' or is this a date? She'd give them a short dating etiquette lesson that ended with her abruptly hanging up the phone.

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